It is the first day of my new life, although being said a little late. I have been being blogger lazy these past couple weeks. I am in the process of putting my life back together. I have a new lease on life! I promised I wouldn't stop my process, and therefore I won't. So, here's what's been going on...
I had been working my tail off to save money for the apartment I am moving into at the end of the month. I had been sleeping like crap. I lost about 15lbs in a week, which is alot for a small girl like myself and extremly unhealthy. I was actually told the other day that I look anorexic. I'm 5' 2" and 110lbs...that's really not anorexic. I believe that I look fine! Why such the dramatic weight loss you ask? One word...stress! I have been working on that though! I have been continuing my meditations and my writing everyday, like a good little student does! I am finally moving out of my parents house, 2nd times a charm! I don't have to deal with their stresses as well as mine! Its a long time coming and I deff deserve it. Although moving out makes me feel as though my dreams are getting pushed further away now. Nashville is where I wanted to be by now, and that doesn't even seem possible at this point. Now my move date is the summer of 2010, but knowing me it's tenative. With all this stress I was able to let go of someone and finally find something that clicked. That something would happen to be in the form of music.
I recently have found a band that I am absolutly in love with. Listening to Monty Are I, I have never felt so alive. Their lyrics have such deep emotion that I feel very connected with them. I am set into a trance when listening to it. I feel as though their music is my light at the end of the tunnel, as cheesy as that sounds. Usually when people are depressed or sad they need happy uplifting music to get their spirits up, not rock That was not the case for me I guess. The sounds of the guitars and bad ass drumming made my spirits lift up! I am a very mellow person whos interests in music are all over the place. Although being very eclectic, my main taste is more Jason Mraz/Jack Johnson-esque. But, as soon as I put the cd in I felt something. Something powerful! Deff something I havn't felt in a long time! I never thought it possible to entertain sadness with such emotion, but it worked! Thank goodness for Monty Are I! I also had the chance to meet the guys, before I even knew they were a band. They are probably the coolest people I have met in a long time. So when one friend leaves, that gives you a chance to make a bunch more! Whiskey anyone?!
Anywhoooooo! Since meeting these guys and falling in love with their music , I have found a new me. A me I was not aware of. Another side to this mellowness! I am on the right path, and although I might venture off from time to time to see the scenery, I am sticking to it!
So, with a new definition on life and new love for music I am setting sail on something that I believe is changing me. Stress is not going to get the best of me anymore. Today is a new day! My life starts today! Life is love, and it's a wonderful thing!! goodnight loves!
Shawna Marie