its like music to my ears

I think it's safe to say that I will probably be blogging everyday because I have nothing else better to do. So today is my birthday, I don't feel any different. Should I? Should I be scared that I am getting old? Yea I know I'm only 22, but come on, I still feel like I am 17. I'm 22 and have yet to find a real life goal. This sucks lol. I know what I want to be, but I don't think I will ever get it. My friend Jenn and I desperately want to be housewives, chyeaaa like that'll happen. I honestly don't want to work, like ever. Working was never for me. I have always had a hard time keeping a job, mostly because I can't find one thing that I really truly want to do. Or even that I love. Yes I love baking, but I can do that out of my house. I don't think that I need to have a real job. I honestly just dislike my line of work right now. I love helping people, so it might just be the crappy company I work for. Plus, I can't seem to find a good nursing job anywhere. I am getting a total of 3 hours of work a week. 3 hours. How am I supposed to live on that? I went from full time to barely part time. It may just be me having a huge lack of motivation why I don't want to work. But, seriously, how am I supposed to be motivated to work if I'm only working 3 hours a week? I shouldn't even be getting out of bed for that. I called my supervisor today and she said that she is unhappy with me, that I havn't been putting in any hours. Excuse me, but I call every single day looking for work, and they sit there and say that they have none. It's not my fault that I am not working. It's the company's fault because they pick favorites. When I started working with this company they promised that after I work 3 months for them that I was guaranteed 35 hours a week. I have been working for them for almost a year, and I am certainly not getting 35 hours.  not even a quarter of that many hours. Ever since I got hurt at work and went back they have been nothing but complete A-holes to me. They know that I have rent and other bills to pay, and yet they still don't give me the hours I was promised. Honestly, I really need to work if I want to stay living here and not at my parents. I feel like a huge bum not working. I filed for unemployment so hopefully I will get that. Ehhhhhhhh well I think that is enough complaining on my birthday! Until next time babies!! Life is love, and it's a wonderful thing.

Shawna Marie

I almost forgot. So after taking my anger out on my laptop keys the other day, I found some peace, as I always do. Of course it's always in the form of music. So I am sitting there, recapping the past few nights as they were beyond crazy, and I remember someone telling me their favorite band, The Early November. Unsure of what to expect I amused my self with a bunch of downloads. Sitting there waiting for these songs to download, I remember that this is basically how I discover new favorite bands of mine. I am either sad and disillusioned, or angry and receptive, and I scour the internet in search of great bands. Although this band I did not find myself, once I hit play on the first song, i was in love! 

 listening to Sunday Drive by The early November

 Almost instantly a sense of happiness and calm came over me. I was not mad anymore, instead I was set into another euphoria. Then came the second song that I downloaded, Take Time And Find, lovee it! I absolutely love the guitars and above all else I love the drums. I am def a sucker for bad ass drumming!  This song just felt right to me.  As did all the other songs I downloaded. I will def be keeping this stuff on my iphone and listening to it daily! Thanks Crimes.